there are so many things i can never say to you... i can't tell you that you're the only person im truly completely comfortable around. when you rest your head on my arm it fills me with chills and makes me feel like im in the most perfect place in the world. when im with you all the madness inside of my heart and mined is stilled. i never get tired of being around you. all my other friends become burdens on my time but you, im always more than happy to spend how ever long you will let me with you. im never truly angry with you, the only reason i even act like i am is because i know you enjoy the confrontation. you've been here with me threw alot in the past two years and i've been there for you too. ever since the car ride back from the A7X show i've known you were going to be important in my life. i can nvr tell you that the reason i get sick immediately after eating is because i spent so many days stressing over every possible thing that might go wrong or cause you to say no that my stomach now refuses to function properly. its been bothering you that im taking initiative at your house by cleaning things up or changing the tv over, or even holding the redbuls when you drive without you asking.. i finaly found something worth taking the initiative for and i can't even tell you that it's you.. i can't tell you these things because it would be unfair. it might elisit feelings of guilt or responsibility. even wors it might scare you and you would distance yourself from me... these things are not ok, the last of them most of all. i'll remain here as your friend/pillow/whatever you need me to be for as long as you'll let me, but plz dont be upset if im not quite who i used to be. i have to put my self in an unresponsive mode so i dont let whats inside of me out.. its for your benefit i promise.