i told myself this would work out diferint, that it wouldnt be the same as last time.... i dared to hope and in that hope i lost the batle and my mined. there is no bravery in dreaming, only insanity. no luster to hope, only the chance to lose, to be bashed apon the rocks, to flote no more. i'll never learn myleson because the insanity in my head insists on never changeing. if for once i would say "no it's not alright, i want to be happy" then i would lose anyway, because i would of changed. i can never win, i can never die, i can only exist here in this constant state of decay. the world eating at me, tearing nashing it's teath, but i can never go away. stuck here forever and a little wile longer as the winds of fait beat me down. fait won't outlast me, won't crush me, for it its self has destined me to forever be the indestrucktable target, the lashing pole of time. i am an ass hole... to myself..