Technically I'm Still Alive...

Thu, Mar 1, 2012 at 3:04 AM By: TwistedTsinga

Even Though 99% or maybe Moore Like 90% Of The Time, I Don't Want To Be :(

I've Been In Unbearable Emotional Turmoil Recently. I'm Happy About The Fact I Get So See Skrillex In A Week, But I'm Also Feeling Increasingly Depressed, Hopeless And Even Suicidal.

My heart Literally hurts. I Can't Seem To Smile With Meaning Anymoore, I Don't Wanna Know About My Future. My Tummy Hates Me Too Recently.

There's Nothing Like Crying Yourself to Sleep :'( I'm So Tired Recently. I Hate Having Headaches, I Just Wanna Lay Down And Die.

I'm Thinking Of Dropping Therapy. Why? Because My Therapist Doesn't Listen To Me. But Then Again, No-One Does.

i Hate That Feeling You Get, Y'Know That Feeling Of Being Invisible To Everyone? I Hate It So Much. I Just Wanted To Know What It Was Like To Be Loved by Someone In That Special Way. But All I'm Feeling Recently Is Abandonment, I Feel So Alone.

Maybe I'll Be Better Off If I Wasn't Here Anymoore, Maybe I'm A Burden On Everyone. I Don't Know, I Really Don't. I Feel So Useless And Miserable :'(

It Doesn't Help That my Mom Is Angry All The Time, My Brother Is Always Yelling And My Dad Seems To Be In His Own World...I Really Don't Think My Family Loves Each Other Anymoore :'(

We Play The Happy Family Game. i HATE The Happy Family Game, It's All Lies :'(

I Just Don't Wanna Be Around Them At All. I don't Want To Burden Anyone Anymoore, I Just Want Everyone To Be Happy, I can See I Bring Everyone Down Like The Selfish Piece Of Shit That I am, And They Don't Deserve It. I Don't Deserve To Be Here.

I Feel So Alone. All i Want To Do Is Cry. It's That Stupid Empty Feeling I get, I Feel Emotional But At The Same Time Emotion-LESS. i Feel Like Anything Can Make Me Cry Right Now, Anything At All.

My Chest Feels Heavy, Hollow And Dead. Nobody Loves Me Anymoore :'(. 'I can't Love You Until You Love Yourself' '...then You'll Never Love me', That's The Situation I'm In Right Now.

I Just Want The pain To Stop, I Want It All To End. There Is Nothing 'Fun' About Cutting Holes In Yourself, Either Physically Or Mentally. Why Won't It Stop? Why Doesn't It All Just Leave Me Alone?

I've Been OK Until Now, I Saw How Happy My Slight Improvement Made My Parents....Especially My Mom. But Now All I See In Them Is Bitter Disappointment And Rage, But Maybe They're Right, Maybe I'm Never Going To Get Better.

At Least I Tried, I Tried As Hard As I Could :'(

Goodbye My Friends, I Love You All And I always Will.

  1. marycha624 avatar

    On Thu, Mar 1, 2012 at 7:23 AM, marycha624 said:

    don't kill your self ... you don't know how many people tou will hurt ....
    about me ... i have the same with family ... i didn't have any childhood ...
    2 days ago I tried to kill myself ... but my brother disturb me ... i was in hospital ... and thy bring me back to this earth...
    when i'll back on my fav site many people was thinking about me ... my friend was crying ... so i won't do that again ...
    look at JD he camethrow for all this shit ... and he's happy now ... i hope i will find my happines to ... and I wish that for you too .. soo please don't do that ...

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