Elf3’s blog

  1. Dimension

    Sun, Sep 15, 2013 at 4:35 PM 3 Comments

    Tired of being tired. So I wont be anymore, or at least try my absolute best not to be. Tired of family fighting back and forth. Tired of being put in the middle. So I just told everyone I'm by myself on all of it, not on anyone's side. I choose love, equality, respect, and unconditional care for eachother. Not some Jerry Springer, dysfunctional shit. I'm not going to lower myself as a human...

  2. What To Do...What To Do

    Sat, Sep 14, 2013 at 3:16 PM 0 Comments

    I had gotten to a point where I felt good, you know, confident and sure of the future; my future. Then I get told by my father about how fucked my sister is, and how my mom's a liar. He just wants to 'inform' me...is this right? My mom's an alcoholic, my sister is dating a mixed guy and has moved in with him. Apparently this dude has a past as a pimp, drug dealer, and all this other mess. My...

  3. There Is No You, There Is Only Me

    Mon, Aug 26, 2013 at 4:25 PM 3 Comments

    In the center of my being, there lies truth and love. Honesty and happiness, sincerity and a lot of compassion. But there are little dark spots around my being, like there is cancer cells around a healthy lung. Encircling, encompassing, and moving closer to the center; determined to suffocate whatever health/goodness is left. I get pulled down every once in a while. I can't stay strong for...

  4. Sitting here, doing the same thing I was doing in 2011, when I thought my life was over. Smoking Pall Mall cigarettes, sitting on my bed, listening to tunes, and writing out these thoughts that give birth to feelings. Feelings feelings feelings. They spoke louder than my thoughts ever did. Tomorrow is the first day of my Sophomore year. I'm really excited, because I get to be back in the...

  5. Godless Amerika

    Sun, Aug 11, 2013 at 9:03 AM 4 Comments

    Parents taking advantage of their unable children All of the deception and underhanded movements hidden It makes me sick to think of such inhumanity I sit for days in complete agony Doing something nice for another isn't just for Christians If only they had the eyes to see, the ears to listen The world's screaming endlessly, to us it's just life It isn't right, it shouldn't be...

  6. Never More, Never More

    Sat, Jun 29, 2013 at 7:11 AM 3 Comments

    The knife twists and scrapes inside of my stomach with each thought of you. But you would have to know how many thoughts I have of you each day in order to be able to recognize my pain. Let's see....I think about you each and every second of my existence. Every breath I take, you had a part in creating. I wish I could kill my mind. I swear to god...this is by far the worst pain I have ever...

  7. Rotted Cancer

    Fri, Jun 28, 2013 at 1:11 PM 1 Comments

    The constant movement, struggle, and rotation of the world sets my mind ablaze. The constant parade of our society shouting demands from all people of all ages to look like this, talk like this, dress like this, believe in this, support this; if not, you're nothing. How sweet is that...? The neverending battle between good and evil, which has an invisible origin, kills my nerves every day....

  8. Unbalanced Chemicals

    Tue, Jun 18, 2013 at 3:30 PM 5 Comments

    You're so beautiful. I don't think you will ever realize the magnitude of your glowing light. You have so much ahead of you. You can do anything you want in life. I'm glad you don't know about me. It would only complicate things for you, which is not something you need. I don't deserve to be around you and your amazing aura. You make new everything you touch, and the world is a better place...

  9. I Am Still Right Here

    Thu, Jun 6, 2013 at 2:28 PM 4 Comments

    No one else would have been able to understand. Darkness like thick afternoon fog encircling itself all around my mind, crouching and snarling at me. I had nothing to defend myself with, absolutely nothing. I didn't know of any happiness or confidence, so there were no weapons. I could never make it at home, no one acknowledged or appreciated my effort. I couldn't make it at school. I didn't...

  10. I'd Rather Die

    Tue, Jun 4, 2013 at 3:54 PM 6 Comments

    I haven't done right by you in a very long time, and I am by no means a devoted follower. I've doubted your presence even after getting saved and baptized. I'm in a stage right now as we speak where I'm doubting your existence and not staying in contact with you as I should. I don't deserve anything good from you. I haven't done my best for you, and I truly am sorry. If this is the last...

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