no not motherfucking bieber either. my best friend..
so, i told him what was going on (reffering to the last post) and he got super mad at me today. it pissed me off but i didnt want to argue with him again. it breaks my heart when he does shit like that to me. ill kind of explain via quoting the conversation we had this morning.
me: so me and london talked. i guess im so used to rushin into a relationship so fast. we are taking it slow. yeah... he took my virginity but i dont mind. we just wanna take it slow unlike kyle (my last ex boyfriend)
Justin: i knew that was going to happen. now after college he moving on
Me: um... hes um.. 25
Justin: wow.... yeah thats all he wants from you (reffering to sex). he just using you.
Me: idk... hes not that way though.. like idk what. was thinking last night. like i said i had way too many monsters. i doubt that he is. ik youire worried about me but hes different
Justin: i doubt it. he seems that way now but when time comes to leave school you never going to see him again. he sees you as an easy target for sex. at 18 you r stupid and he knows that.
Me: ..okay. ill try to be cautious. we dont do it all the time like idk. hes not one of those people that arent trying to change me or anything. idk. liek i wanna trust him. *sigh* not all guys are like the way that you are describing them. and i know youre not like that. ik you dont want me to get hurt again but i gotta give him a chance.
Justin: ok. but im just saying in the long run it will happen
Me: we will see. i dont want to be completely hopeless after (my ex girlfriend). im trying to get over her.
see all that shit pissed me off at first when we were talking this morning but then i thought loong and hard as to what he said to me and why he said that. its because of what he expierenced earlier this year with that psycho bitch of an ex girlfriend he had. yeah i did have a bad feeling about her and i told straight to his face that i didnt trust her and that shes an ugly bitch. he brushed it off and acted like a dick towards me the whole time they were "together". so now you want to take out what i did to you on me..? okay i see. yeah i guess i deserve a punishment for basically being right the whole time, never rubbing it in your face and being your goddamn mother for three fucking months while you were crying everyday over nothing. i have every right to be pissed off at you justin. but you know i have been through a lot of shit with shitty people but damn motherfucker, dont be so fucking harsh. give him a fuckin chance.
i thought long and hard about my ex girlfriend. i realized that shes fake as fuck and she can go on with her open relationship with that other girl. yeah we can still be friends but i dont care anymore. i got london now and we are doing just fine.yeah he took my virginity two days after we met. i dont care. we connected so well and you dont fucking understand that justin, and im not going to sit up here and explain to you why im doing what im doing. no you dont control me but i want to listen to your advice though. you have helped me with a lot of shit. even through my drug addictions you helped me..
but right now this is my time. no college is not all about drinking, having sex and doing drugs even though thats what i tell you what i do all the time. but youre the only idiot that i know that doesnt want to help himself. we've been through this before and we can do it all over again.