The Children Of KoRn’s blog

  1. Lawyer Joke

    Tue, Mar 6, 2012 at 4:59 AM 1 Comments

    A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, "Please be gentle, I'm still a virgin." "What?" said the puzzled groom. "How can that be if you've been married ten times?" "Well, Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be. Husband #2 was in software services:...

  2. how do you sleep better

    Sat, Mar 3, 2012 at 8:02 AM 1 Comments

    An elderly woman went to her local doctor’s office and asked to speak with her doctor. When the receptionist asked why she was there, she replied, “I’d like to have some birth control pills.” Taken back, the doctor thought for a minute and then said, “Excuse me, Mrs. Glenwood, but you’re 80 years old. What would you possibly need birth control pills for?” The woman...

  3. the ventriloquist

    Fri, Feb 24, 2012 at 9:33 AM 1 Comments

    A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and stops to entertain at a bar in a small town. He's going through his usual run of silly blonde jokes when a big blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and says, "OK jerk, I've heard just about enough of your denigrating blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype women that way? What do a person's physical...

  4. Blonde Joke

    Fri, Feb 24, 2012 at 9:31 AM 1 Comments

    There was a beautiful young blonde who was going to a soda machine and she arrived there just before a business man coming to quench his thirst. She opened her purse and put in 50 cents, studied the machine a little, pushed a Diet Coke selection, and out came a Diet Coke which she placed on a counter by the machine. Then she reached in her purse again and pulled out a dollar and inserted...

  5. from alabama

    Fri, Feb 24, 2012 at 9:24 AM 1 Comments

    It was the first day of Grade Three in a new town for Johnny. As a test, his teacher went around theroom and asked each of the students to count to 50. Some did very well, counting as high as 30or 40 with just a few mistakes. Others couldn't get past 20. Johnny, however, did extremely well;he counted past 50, right up to 100 without any mistakes. He was so excited that he ran homeand told his...

  6. asking God

    Fri, Feb 24, 2012 at 9:16 AM 1 Comments

    A man trying to understand the nature of God and asked him: "God, how long is a million years to you?" God answered: " A million years is like a minute." Then the man asked: "God, how much is a million dollars to you?" And God replied: "A million dollars is like a penny." Finally the man asked: "God, could you give me a penny?" And God said, "In a minute."

  7. aliens

    Sat, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:18 AM 2 Comments

    There were 3 little alien dudes in a little green space ship. All the sudden they crashed on earth. The first little dude was purple, the second green and third blue. The little purple dude walked into an opera house and heard “ mi,mi,mi” “ mi,mi,mi” and got stuck saying “ mi,mi,mi” “ mi,mi,mi”. The little green dude walked into the purple cow and heard “ fork & knife” “...

  8. defective nails

    Sat, Feb 18, 2012 at 10:15 AM 1 Comments

    Two guys were doing construction on a house. One of them who was nailing down siding would reach into his nail pouch, pull out a nail, and then either toss it over his shoulder or nail it into the siding. The other guy, figuring this was worth looking into, asked, "Why are you throwing those nails away?" The first guy explained, "If I pull a nail out of my pouch and it's pointed towards...

  9. what's so funny

    Fri, Feb 17, 2012 at 2:24 AM 1 Comments

    Three men were flying in a plane. One dropped out an apple the other dropped an orange and the other dropped a grenade. After landing they were walking down the street and saw a kid crying. They asked him why he was crying and he said "an apple hit me in the head". Then they saw another kid crying he said "an orange hit me in the head". Then they saw a kid laughing his head off and...

  10. the punker

    Fri, Feb 17, 2012 at 2:20 AM 1 Comments

    A young punker gets on the cross-town bus. He's got spiked, multicolored hair that's green, purple, and orange. His clothes are a tattered mix of leather rags. His legs are bare and he's without shoes. His entire face and body are riddled with pierced jewelry and his earrings are big, bright feathers. He sits down in the only vacant seat, directly across from an old man who just...

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