Been silent ...

Fri, Mar 30, 2012 at 9:34 AM By: CSF84

... for a couple days ! Don't what to say : life goes on, weather became fresher unfortunately, had some insomny so I'm tired and a little moody !

Today, I made my 1st cupcakes, and as I'm a dick with pastry, I'm quite proud of the few I made !

What else ? I love KoRn and I think I'll try my best to make some cupcakes about them for the next time : it's gonna be hard but quite funny I guess !

What about you, my Dears ?

Love, Claire

  1. cdu avatar

    On Sun, Apr 1, 2012 at 4:50 PM, cdu said:

    That pastry technique would be rather awkward wouldn't it?

  2. CSF84 avatar

    On Sun, Apr 1, 2012 at 12:43 AM, CSF84 said:

    Wowo thanks for sharing your story with me ! Hope it wasn't too painful to ! Your daughter's right : you're an amazing woman ! You're srtonger than you thought and you managed fighting your demons for yous children's sake...glad to hear everything's quite better now, and yes, it's the beginning of something better ;)

  3. Wind Dancer avatar

    On Sat, Mar 31, 2012 at 6:15 AM, Wind Dancer said:

    Yeah, it is pretty sad when a relationship between a parent and child becomes strained; however, I cannot deny I played a part in it all.

    After her father and I divorced I had no clue as to who I was, I allowed this man to form me into what he felt I should be, which bascially was a fucking robot; control freak (recording the mileage in my car before going to work, WTF) in every sense of the word control. If I so much even looked at another man or held a conversation with another man, his anger would rage. I never learned the lesson he was trying to teach me though. In my mind just because you are with someone you do not go blind or mute.

    I After getting the backbone I needed (with the help of a male friend who reentered my life-he helped me to get rid of fear) I wanted out. Within days of revealing it to this asshole, he ripped my children out of my life. Money talks in a court of law. I had not money to fight, he did, He won. I suppose I could have returned to him like he wanted, I could not though for the sake of my children, for once in thirteen years, I felt free, but numb, numb to everything around me, within me.

    I began using meth, which no doubt hurt my children further, because I took myself out of their lives for six years. Bad Mom! In light of it though, I found me and even found the courage and determination to improve the quanity of my life. For my children, I left everything behind, boarded a Greyhound Bus, determined to get meth free, moving 1,400 miles away from my homeland.
    I climed a mountain, got an education, I found me, the beauty and the core of my soul.

    My children did find the forgiveness towards me. I have a strong relationship with my oldest, the youngest though has always believed I owe her something, because of not being there for her. I am talking 'Money.' She got her way with 'money' for awhile; however, I am not going to play an enabler, in that I have come to her rescue many times, bailing her out of her bad choices. Not anymore though, which is what split us a part this last time, because I refused. I have no desire to be a money tree to no one, including my children 'If you want to play in my sandbox bring your own.' Work for it.
    Sounds harsh I know, but there is more to the story, it gets better.

    Last night, when she arrived at my home. I had KoRn playing loudly (I am a thumper with my stereo). She was impressed 'Wow Mom, you like KoRn." No My Daughter, "I love KoRn." She does too!

    Our dinner went well, really no serious talk, I will allow her to open up when she is ready; however, she did share with me, "Mom, you are an amazing woman!" *sniff, sniff* She wants to get together today too! Yeah, this a new beginning of something new!



    P.S. Someday I am really going to dick around! (Too much information I know) If only he would find me, the Native Cutthroat Trout, the Keeper. If he does not, guess I will walk alone for the remainer of my days, which does not bother me, I have done proven to myself I do not need a man, just any man that is.

  4. CSF84 avatar

    On Sat, Mar 31, 2012 at 12:32 AM, CSF84 said:

    Thanks Callie ! Sad to hear that you had problems with your daughter ! Hope these are fixed now : please tell me how was your dinner ;)
    Dick means the same in French as in English (male sex) : I'm really bad at pastry and I often make bad looking cakes lol but good tasted !
    Hope to read you soon, love. Claire

  5. Wind Dancer avatar

    On Fri, Mar 30, 2012 at 6:56 PM, Wind Dancer said:

    You are so sweet Claire, I enjoy reading your blogs!

    Things are going well in my world for the moment, you know how life is always up for changes.

    Presently, I am excited, my youngest daughter is on her way over to my place to take me out to dinner. Our relationship has been non-exist for awhile now; twisting and turning me inside, making it hard to breathe, but is as you goes on, I had no choice but to surrender. Hopefully tonight will be the beginning of something new and fresh between us.

    How do you dick with the pastry? LOL Just curious. I guess 'dick' mean entirely something different where you live. So cute!


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