No Sex for him...
One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed. Well, the
passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says, "I don't feel like it, I
just want you to hold me."
I said, "WHAT??!! What was that?!"
So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled
look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for
you in the bedroom?"
Realizing that nothing was going to
happen that night, I went to sleep.
The very next day I opted to take the
day off of work to spend time with
her. We went out to a nice lunch and
then went shopping at a big, Big
unnamed department store. I walked
around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive
outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take, so I told her we'd just
buy them all. She wanted new shoes
to compliment her new clothes, so I
said, "Lets get a pair for each outfit."
We went on to the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you... she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was
testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even
like tennis! I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey."
She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation, she finally said, "I think this is all dear,
let's go to the cashier."
I could hardly contain myself when I
blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel
like it." Her face just went completely
blank as her jaw dropped with a
I then said, "Honey! I just want you
to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're
just not in touch with my financial
needs as a man enough for me to
satisfy your shopping needs as a
And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added,
"Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy
Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either....