Wed, Jul 20, 2011 at 8:11 AM

I know it's not really an all-time favourite forum topic but maybe you got some funny jokes to share. I got this one today:

A very homely person made an appointment with a psychiatrist. The homely person walked into the doctor's office and said, "Doctor, I'm so depressed and lonely. I don't have any friends, no one will come near me, and everybody laughs at me. Can you help me accept my ugliness?"

"I'm sure I can." the psychiatrist replied. "Just go over and lie face down on that couch."

~nothing is beyond you~

Replies to This Posting

  1. Re: Jokes

    Mon, Sep 5, 2011 at 11:39 PM

    I was walking down the street when I was accosted by a particularly dirty and shabby-looking homeless woman who asked me for a couple of dollars for dinner.

    I took out my wallet, got out $20 and asked, 'If I give you this money, will you buy wine with it instead of dinner?'
    'No, I had to stop drinking years ago', the homeless woman told me.

    'Will you use it to go shopping instead of buying food?' I asked.
    'No, I don't waste time shopping,' the homeless woman said. 'I need to spend all my time trying to stay alive..'

    'Will you spend this on a beauty salon instead of food?' I asked.
    'Are you NUTS!' replied the homeless woman. I haven't had my hair done in 20 years!'

    'Well, I said, 'I'm not going to g ive you the money. Instead, I'm going to take you out for dinner with my husband and me tonight.'
    The homeless Woman was shocked. 'Won't your husband be furious with you for doing that? I know I'm dirty, and I probably smell pretty disgusting.'

    I said, 'That's okay. It's important for him to see what a woman looks like after she has given up shopping, hair appointments, and wine.'

  2. Re: Jokes

    Mon, Sep 12, 2011 at 10:58 AM

    I thnik a lot a people knows that :

    google "find chuck norris"

    that's so funny, muhahaha!!
    "Living a life that seems to be... A lost reality..."
    "...I'm tired to be what you want me to be..."
    "...Kentucky fried kung-pao clits..."

  3. Re: Jokes

    Tue, Sep 13, 2011 at 5:09 AM

    Three old ladies are sitting in a cafe reminiscing about their husbands who have passed on. The y inevitably get on to the subject of sex.

    Mary says "I really miss my Frank but you know the one thing that annoyed me was that because he was a gynaecologist all he ever wanted to do down there was look at it"

    Moira says "I know what you mean Mary, I really miss my Tony but because he was a psychologist all he wanted to do walk talk about 'down there'"

    Agnes sits back with a big grins and says " I really miss my Andy, he was a stamp collector."
    Fairynuff's favourite saying is "She's Bang Tidy. I'm gonna smash her back doors in!!!!"

  4. Re: Jokes

    Tue, Sep 13, 2011 at 11:58 AM
    "Living a life that seems to be... A lost reality..."
    "...I'm tired to be what you want me to be..."
    "...Kentucky fried kung-pao clits..."

  5. Re: Jokes

    Wed, Nov 16, 2011 at 10:45 AM

    Livvy wrote:
    if love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

    your voice is truly creepy but i like it

  6. Re: Jokes

    Tue, Jul 10, 2012 at 4:42 AM

    Always start your day with a lot of S E X …

    Always start your day with a lot of… S E X
    S – SMILE
    E – ENERGY
    so make S E X a daily habit, and youll always B SUCC SEX FUL! in LIFE.

    We need Martial Arts Gear or Boxing Shorts for practices.